Why Does Life Have to be So Hard?

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Why does life have to be so hard?  This is a question that many of us struggle with very frequently in our lives, but in reality these hard days are just what we need to achieve the growth in life that we strive for.  Today I will share with you some perspectives to help put that statement into a better light.

why-does-life-have-to-be-so-hard
Why does life have to be so hard?

Hard Days Happen

As much as I work on living a positive and forgiving life I still have days where I feel down and am not centered.  It happens to the best of us, things just don’t always go how we expect and before you know it you are feeling angry, sad and so forth.  However, there is a good reason for why we have these days…

It all comes down to why we are here, incarnated on Earth.  We are spiritual beings on a journey of self-discovery, looking to learn how the world around us works.  By experiencing the hard times in life, we are giving ourselves a great opportunity to learn and grow in a positive way.

When we create our life plans for each incarnation, we put in a lot of different things that we want to experience so that we can learn about those trials.  For instance, in my own life Anxiety has been a prominent player throughout my whole life.  This one item has caused many tough times for not only myself, but my family as well. However, each time it comes into play it is an opportunity to learn and grow.

Gaining Experience Through These Trials

Each time we face trials and tribulations we are gaining valuable life experience that will help us throughout the rest of our lives.  Each time we face these we grow stronger and stronger and are able to face them head on as time goes by.  While they may be hard at first, as time wears on you will find that your experience will help to ease that pain over time.

anxiety-life-lessons
Anxiety has played a big and varied role throughout my life experiences.

Let’s take a look at how my experience with Anxiety has changed and grown over the years:

From the earliest days that I can remember in life I was full of anxiety and it really affected my life a lot.  I used to hide from my older sister’s friends because they were girls and often would stay under the kitchen table until they left or were off busy doing other things.

It wasn’t until I was late in my teens that I accumulated enough experience with this personal anxiety to learn how to overcome it.  While it has popped up once in a while since then, I know how to handle it and can overcome those doubts that it tries to plant in my mind.

That wasn’t the end of my lessons though on the topic.  As I became an adult I settled down with my lovely wife and guess what?  Yup, she has anxiety issues as well.  This was a whole other perspective for me to learn about it.  Add into that mix that we also passed down that same trait to our children to some extent (You can also see it in our parents as well).

Learning-life-lessons
Anxiety is playing a major role in my life lessons.

So as you can see, Anxiety is playing a major role in my life lessons for this incarnation.  From learning about how to deal with it personally to learning how to handle it with my loved ones, there are many lessons to be learned.

I thought that these were tough lessons to learn on a personal level, but when it comes to your spouse and children it is only amplified.  This has led me to be very grateful for having gone through it myself when I was young.  That experience I gained then has been invaluable in helping my family and I deal with the hard days.

An Attitude of Gratitude Goes a Long Way!

I can only begin to stress just how important it is to be grateful for the things that happen in your life.  They have all been a part of your soul’s plan so it is important to trust yourself and know that you are gaining knowledge, experience and will grow from them.

Some of the worst things that happened to me in my younger days are some of the things that I am most grateful for now.  For example:

In my group of friends throughout High School, there was one that 90% of the time didn’t respect me at all.  It caused a lot of pain in my life and eventually not long after school led to the end of our friendship.

However, it was this guy that really prompted me to pay attention to how I treated people. From all of those hard times that I experienced with him, I was able to grow to a point of not wanting to cause that pain to anyone else.  It was from his disrespect that I learned to respect others.

thank-you
In Either example here, if I came across these people today I would offer them a sincere, Thank you.”

Here is another personal example from my working career:

I worked for a prominent mobile phone carrier for 7 years and when I was fired I was shocked.  This led to a ton of troubles for my family on many different fronts, but especially on the financial level.

As time went on though I learned a ton about how to manage my finances better and became much more efficient with our funds.  So in the long run I am very thankful for losing this job, as I learned so much from that experience.

fired-from-good-job
Both times I lost my job were hard at the time, but I am ever so thankful now!

Fast forward a decade and I left one job for the promise of a better one and the next step in my career.  Unfortunately, after only a few months I was let go from that job.  I was devastated that day and it was one of the worst days I had experienced in life up to that point.

However, I grew tremendously from that brief experience and when I went on to find new employment I was able to secure a better job and better pay.  So I guess you could say that while I fell, I was able to stick the landing.

Looking back at those two times I get a wave of mixed emotions, but what trumps them all is that I am thankful for what happened.  While they may have been horrible at the time, looking back now I would not be where I am at without them.  As it stands, I am in one of the best jobs I have ever had and it also has the best earning potential that I have ever had in front of me.

Acknowledgment is Key

Sense-feelings-meditation
Acknowledge, Accept and Forgive

Just experiencing hard days is not enough alone to properly grow and transition through your life.  You need to learn how to acknowledge the lessons in the present moment and give yourself the opportunity to learn.

It is much like learning from mistakes, you first have to acknowledge the mistake and then accept accountability for it so that you can learn from it.  The same thing goes for these tough times that we experience, we must be aware and accountable for our actions so that we can use that experience as a learning vessel.

I have struggled with road rage over the years and by applying these lessons I have been able to greatly subdue that problem in my life.  However, I would like to share a story with you that just happened yesterday…

I was leaving work and our little parking lot is right by a red light that can often be a little tricky to get out and go the direction I want to.  Often I don’t even try to get out at the light and will go around the block for the sake of ease.

Yesterday though, I had to wait for opposing traffic and then it appeared that I would be able to go with the changing of the light.  However, this is where the FedEx driver came into play and first did not let me out and secondly, drove very slowly to the light and left so much room between the car in front of him that it was now impossible for me to go that way.

tricky-intersection-road-rage
I instantly popped over into road rage mode at first…

I instantly popped over into road rage mode as I turned the other way to go around the block.  However, I also quickly realized what had happened and I began the process of acknowledgment.

I first acknowledged to myself that I was feeling irritated.  Then I acknowledged where and how I was feeling that in my body (it was a tenseness at the top of my torso, right below my throat).  After that I took accountability for my actions and also forgave myself and the FedEx driver.

I did ruminate about things on my way home and went back and forth a few times from positive to negative and back to positive again.  When I got home though and saw my beautiful wife and my kids, I let all of the pain melt away and enjoyed the company of my family.

Another note of importance in this story is Forgiveness.  Making sure to forgive yourself and any others throughout this process when things go awry is also of vast importance!

Share Your Questions, Thoughts and Stories!

rainbow-tears-native-american-proverbI would ask you to please leave any questions, thoughts or stories in the comment section below.  With every comment we shine more perspective onto the topic and make it a bit easier for someone else to understand.  So please, tell us what you are thinking!

Lastly, if you enjoyed this article, here are several others that I have written that tie in very nicely with this subject and could be of great assistance to help you understand all of the concepts here.

Thanks for stopping by and hope to see you back again.  In the meantime, go be a positive example for the world!

James W D
james@spiralrevolutions.com

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12 Replies to “Why Does Life Have to be So Hard?”

  1. “why does life have to be so hard?” Can’t even count the number of times I’ve uttered those words! Only after realizing that in every trial, there is a lesson, could I let go of asking that question.
    You make some excellent points, here, James! Thanks, again, for bringing things to a brighter light.

    • I myself have uttered those words many a time Barb even with the knowledge I have gained in recent years. However, I am fighting the battle and learning what I can to alleviate these feelings and I must say that I do feel like I am winning this war. I still have a lot of work to do and I need to stay determined, but I believe in myself and the path that I have chosen. I know that in the end I will be thankful for it all!

  2. James,
    Very good read. I still have some anxiety when in crowds or have to meet people one on one for the first time if it is an important business visit. Several times the company I had worked for sent me to a city that I had never been before to meet or work with people that I had never even talked to. Have you ever gotten off the plane and had to look at all of the people with signs with names on them and look for your name. I have not been able to shake this most of my life and that is why I am such a loner now.
    John

    • John, having dealt with Anxiety all of my life in one form or another I completely understand what you are saying here. While I was able to shake the bulk of my Anxiety in my late teens, I still get the “going to new places” fears. I will often try to avoid it, but with the things I have been practicing now I feel like I am ready to tackle it head on. I have been pushing myself to get past this hurdle and the Acknowledge & Accept method works very well for this. When I start to feel that Anxiety, I acknowledge it and really try to feel it. Maybe even put my hand over the part of the body where I feel it and tell myself that I am feeling anxious. In doing that it helps me to accept it and move on.

  3. That’s so true. Especially something like social anxiety I can relate with. You can either let that anxiety consume you and stop you from taking action, making friends or making meaningful relationships or you can have that anxiety and do it anyway. Each time you do it, it gets easier and easier because you convince your brain that its not so bad – You’re still alive. And its never as bad as your brain makes it out to be. Your anxiety is often just an over-exaggeration of the entire situation.

    • Anxiety is a mechanism that humans have developed over the millennia to help protect us from the dangers of the world. Unfortunately in today’s society it can lead to a lot more harm than good. You are right though in that each time we do whatever it is that we are anxious about it does get easier and easier. Once you train your mind that there is not the danger that you thought might be there.

      I have a nephew that is just amazing with the guitar, but he often gets too anxious to play around too many people. Just over this last weekend he wanted to play a song he wrote for his grandfather but was having trouble working up the nerve. I pulled him off to the side and told him that every great musician felt the way he does now, but that they learned to channel that energy into their performance instead of allowing it to detract from it. That helped him tremendously and he was able to go on to play the song for everyone.

  4. This is purely opinion, but i believe we have these down days as we are too privileged (in the western world) and also to confined.

    What I mean is this…. we have never had it so good but more and more of us a depressed or down and have lots of down days like you said. we weren’t meant to live a life of T.V and 9-5

    Humans are free spiritual creatures look what happens to a lion once you put in a cage it paces back and forth and is unhappy us humans are also in a cage with invisible bars

    We spend majority of our lives making building someone else’s dreams for them to be un-cagged

    • Steven, I certainly understand and get your perspective. To be absolutely honest I often agree with it as I feel like many of us are “slaves” per say in our society. We are trapped in a cage with invisible bars, earning just enough to get by to the next paycheck or next expense…

      That is part of the reasoning behind why I started this site as I want to make the world a better place and free our souls so that we can live a much better life. How does that saying go? We weren’t born to work, pay bills, and die…

  5. Great read James, love how you share your personal stories as well! We all have days when we feel on top of the world but also days when we question everything we do…

    I do find it helpful though to put things in perspective and to be grateful (just like you say) for everything I have. Two beautiful kids, a loving supporting husband and family and friends that really cares… are just a few things that I’m forever grateful for!

    Thank you for sharing James!
    Vicky

    • Hi Vicki! Nice to see you stop back by again and thank you for the kind words.

      Yes life is all about the ups and downs otherwise it would be pretty boring and hard to learn as well. Having that gratitude though about everything you have in your life is a great step in finding the prosperity that you desire in life.

  6. It’s hard when your young or in the middle of those hard times to understand how beneficial they can be to your future. Hard work and difficult situations are things any of us want to go through but they can provide some of the greatest benefits. When I was in the military, I worked for a boss who didn’t like me and in a very cut throat group. It was a miserable 4 years. Since then I’ve used that experience to be very successful in the work place. As I look back my first instinct is that I would never want to go through that experience again. But I also realize the strong character I developed due to that situation that has helped me in life. No one wants to go through the hard times but you can flourish due to the hard times.

    • Sam, Thank you for sharing your story, it very much reminds me of some of the things that I have gone through in this life. You are very right in that it is those times in which we truly do discover the characteristics that make up who we are today. Yes it can be very hard when you are in the thick of it to remember this, but with effort and mindfulness you can do it and see even greater results.

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