What is Love? This is a question that has been asked for ages and can be a difficult one to truly answer. However, I believe that there are several perspectives that I can share with you that might make it a bit easier to understand.
Definition – Love
According to Dictionary.com there are 28 definitions to the varied uses of the word Love. Almost seems fitting to a concept that is hard to define, that there would be so many different uses and descriptions of it. Now I am not going to go into all 28 variations like they did, but I do want to cover the major ones here.
If you travel over to Wikipedia.com and search for Love you will also find a plethora of definitions to sort through, including interpersonal, cultural views, religious views and more.
But alas, you didn’t come here to just go look the term in the dictionary or the digital encyclopedia did you? You are looking for something deeper and thought provoking, so let us get a move on…
This is probably the reason why most of you have found this page as you are looking for answers about finding the right partner in your life. In today’s modern world this can be an extremely difficult task especially when it comes to having the time to do so. With education and work eating up so much of our time it can be hard to know where to even start with your limited time.
I have had all kinds of thoughts throughout my life on what it meant to actually love someone and to want to be with them, however it has only been in the recent years that it has really come into focus for me.
I started to get my clarity as I watched my oldest son reach manhood and start dating women. He had several different girlfriends and each one had different effects on him and that is what piqued my interest.
The one girl he dated for quite some time really cared for him. What I saw though was that it was her that was pushing him to be a better person. She got him out of his comfort zone and off his beaten path.
It wasn’t until he had moved on to the next girl that I really came to realize just how important a piece of the puzzle that was. I started looking at my situation with my wife and how being with her made me want to be a better person for her, to make her happy.
“They” say that being with a partner is about compromise. I think that when you are with someone that makes you want to change to be a better person for them, you have begun to learn the art of said compromise.
Be a Better Person
So in short, the roots of being in love with someone is having a willingness to change for them without having to be asked. Sometimes this may mean you stop doing something you enjoy, because you know your partner doesn’t like it. Sometimes it means trying something new because your partner does enjoy it.
We do this because we want our partner to be happy and when they are happy, so are we. I know I have uttered the words many a time, “Happy wife, happy life.” All kidding aside though, when we truly love someone we tend to do whatever it takes to ensure that they are experiencing a positive life.
This is why we strive to be a better person for those that we love as we want them to be happy, but also because we want them to accept us and love us back. Acceptance is a key cog that is often overlooked in this complex equation of Love. When we feel rejected by those whom we care for, it is an extra deep wound that we experience.
As you grow closer to your partner you will also establish an empathic link with them. What I mean by this is that you will really begin to feel their emotional state and this can be a good or bad thing.
It is important to be mindful of your own emotions so that when you feel your partner’s that you can differentiate between them and act in an appropriate way. You see if you are not careful, you can let their bad day creep into your state of being and instead of raising them up, you fall down with them.
When your partner is experiencing negative emotions it is vitally important that you strive to be their anchor for them and not to allow the influence of them to deter from the situation.
I myself learned this lesson the hard way in recent times. My wife and I have been struggling after 22 years of no significant fighting. Now over the last year we have experienced many tough times together.
In the beginning I let the raw emotions combine together and instead of holding my ship steady for her I allowed the negative emotions to cloud my judgements and how I acted.
As this last year progressed we both came to the conclusion that the only reason that we were upset anymore was because the other was upset. When we had that epiphany it really hit home for me and helped me to start correcting my behaviors.
Now when my wife is having a bad day or is upset, I do my best to stay positive and to be strong for her. It is not always easy and sometimes I still make mistakes, but I make sure that when I do, I acknowledge them so that I can learn from them.
It is also important to know that we don’t need to be in our partner’s presence to feel this emotional connection that we have established with them. Often I have been able to pick up on a sudden change of feelings with what seems no provocation, only to learn later that I was picking up on something that my wife was experiencing at the time.
What It All Boils Down To
In essence, without writing a whole book here, what it all boils down to is that connection established between two people. One that drives us to better ourselves for the other and to truly feel what they are feeling.
So when you are looking for that special someone or maybe they are already in your life, think about how they make you feel about yourself. If you want to make improvements in your life because of them, then you are on the right track.
The Same goes for being able to connect with them on an emotional level. When you can feel your partner’s state, especially when apart, then you have strong bonds of Love forming. Just remember it is very important to be mindful of your emotions versus theirs and making sure to support your partner properly.
What About Love at First Sight?
Another question often asked is what about Love at first sight, is it possible? While in my younger days I was skeptical of this, I am now a firm believer in that it can happen. I am also a big believer in that everything happens for a reason in this life and it would only make sense then that some would have this occurrence.
While this was not the case for me in life, I have met many people that I have had instant connections with. It was almost like I had just ran into an old friend and felt immediately comfortable in their presence. Between these times and the research that I have done throughout my life, I know that it can and will happen for some.
Love Outside of Romance
Love is just not a part of our romantic lives, as it plays a role within our families, friends and so much more. It is the glue that bonds us together and as I have gotten older I have also realized that is can be the answer to many of our problems.
You see it time and time again with the various great prophets of our world’s past. They taught us to forgive others and that my friend is a key component of Love in this world. When we are able to forgive others, we are showing them Love and compassion. We also give them a much better opportunity to learn from their mistake.
You can learn more perspective on forgiveness in my article: Forgiveness as a Way of Life. Understanding this process can help you in leaps and bounds when it comes to growing the amount of love in your life.
What is Love? … The Answer!
Yup, that is what I am saying. The answer to the question is: the answer! Love is the answer to so many of the problems in today’s world. When faced with a difficult situation, no matter what area of your life it may be in, bringing in love to the equation will greatly help resolve the problem.
If we all made love one of the highest values in each of our lives, the world would change dramatically for the better. Love is the guiding light that can evolve us as a society into a new age and way of living.
Love allows us to forgive. Forgiving allows us to have inner peace. Inner peace allows us to live at ease. Living at ease allows us to live together in harmony.
While love is the answer and can take us down a much more harmonic path, it is still unique for each one of us. We all bring that one unique bit to the equation and that is ourselves. The concept may be the same, but we will all experience it differently and that is what makes it so powerful in our lives.
I would ask that you please share your perceptions of love with us here so that together we can grow and travel together in harmony. Whether it is a story about love in your life or just your thoughts and views on the topics that I have discussed here, it all brings value to the table. The more value we bring here together; the better chances we have of helping the next visitor.
If you enjoyed this perspective and are intrigued to learn more, you might enjoy some other articles that I have written here:
- What Motivates You to Live Your Life?
- Learn How to Trust Your Intuition Using Hindsight
- How to Be Happy in Life – The Power of Living with Intent
- Why You Should be Grateful in Life
- Enjoy Little Things Life Gives You, it is What Matters the Most
Thank you for stopping by, I hope to see you again!
James W D